Impervious, impregnable, unnerving Undoubtedly the best in all of me Unnecessarily I wished to be But here I am, the life within still churning It’s burning, aching, trembling, weeping Like someone said “I love you,” then “goodbye” And even worse, the light it held is seeping Through every cleft created with each sigh It dies with daylight, then resurrected A trick it learned drinking dreamless nights alone Or rather drunk on darkness as expected By universal laws of “reap and sow” Impervious, impregnable, unnerving Involuntarily I’m cast a diamond heart But underneath the stone, I’m bleeding, hurting I’m guessing God perceives this as his art Viktoria Nikola
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The Universe Within
I have the universe within me It is a wonder of a thing It borders with eternity And carries me on wings Its billions stars of fire Its trillions moons of ice Give rise to bright desire Then drop to arctic vice There gods consort with angels There demons scheme a war There Logos is no stranger Truth there turns into lore There emp’rors build their kingdoms And priests anoint their heirs There queens fight for the freedoms That pauper peasants scare I have the universe within me Though others think me mad “Too grand a thought, chéri” “Come down to Earth, comrade” To them I’ll lean in slyly “A secret you I’ll tell: This universe within me Is within you as well” Viktoria Nikola
Ode to the Sea
If only I could hug the sea, The way it holds me lovingly To kiss its cheeks as sailboats do Those freckling flirts on blue green hues To blanket it, its callous waves With passioned heat of love-sick rays To tuck it in with twinkling lights The diamond cloth of kings and knights Inspire it - the wise wind's game A lovers trick, caress its mane If only I could write a poem As worthy as its lacing foam But words are futile this task amiss Such lines I seal with a meek kiss Viktoria Nikola
To Love a Light
Strange it is, to love a light When darkness rules my glee I am not sure I know this sight As I’m not sure I’m me For in the night, when all is dark How does one know the day? How does one love, when hate intact Berates each shining ray? Viktoria Nikola 2014
Goddess
When I used to be a goddess in the life passed long ago I must have lived amongst the stars, in a cosmic gemmed château Crystal columns dressed in moons opened to my g’lactic yard Where I’d catch the raining diamonds broken from old starry shards Shooting comets, dancing clouds, rings of planets, glittered mounds From my balc’ny’s view I’d see heaven waltzing round and round And I’d flash across this lot, steering loyal stallions Suns in my hair and in my gown, glowing like medallions But now in the world around me, in every shadow of each nook I wonder where my stars are. To find the light where must I look? Where are those twirling comets, that intergalactic ball? Where is the music swirling that so easily all enthralled? Where is my crown of gold suns? It’s too dark in this life for me When is this blizzard ending? Will it ever be calm at sea? Perhaps I’ve dreamt up my greatness, though it feels real in my core Perhaps I’m truly the goddess of dusting and sweeping the floor Perhaps in my desperation to escape mediocrity I believe I feel nostalgia when I see sky’s divinity But I’ll hold onto this feeling, it’s the candle to my shade For without it I shall shatter, lose my spirit and then fade Viktoria Nikola
Strength in Love
I wrote this one for a friend going through a rough time. It's a bit short, but I figured I needed to bring the message across quickly. There’s strength in numbers, But truer is this: There’s strength in a love That dares to exist There’s hope and there’s faith And light there is too So be not afraid, My friend: I love you Viktoria Nikola
The Toast
To all the moments of sheer beauty To all the breaths we’ve held in awe To all the words of all the stories We heard as youths our jaws ajar To all the hues of every vista To all the petals of perfume To every stem an ant has conquered To every plant that ever bloomed To all the faith of arms outstretching To all the trust in every truth To all the gusts in every glory To every heart that’s loved anew To every note of every concert Or every tone of every song To all the chords of all the voices Who shouted louder than a wrong To all the waves of all the changes And all the waters of stern seas To every mind that wandered strangely Towards darkened depths, yet let it be To all the tears of joyous smiles To all the hope of days to pass To every star in every trial That led us through our daunting past To all of you, oh treasured presents, I toast a drink of bubbly whim Continue to defy our limits Let’s fly upon your wings of vim Viktoria Nikola 2012
Freedom
When freedom comes – your being feels it In every corner of its soul Unleashing that what’s been forgotten Recalling that what’s labeled old And you, within, a winged creature Run towards the brink of your despair And then with loud and joyous laughter You jump! You fall! Without a care! Let freedom come, let fear surrender Let your unease become undone Let’s fly away on airy whimsies And let us do what’s NEVER done! Viktoria Nikola
What’s in a Dream
I’ve waited for you waterfalls, I’ve longed to hear your voice Your roaring thrilling love poems, your deaf’ning stirring noise I’ve waited for you mountains, I’ve yearned to feel that breeze That medal of your zenith, that zephyr of your tease I’ve waited for you jungles, I’ve longed to venture through Those spellbound coiled pathways, those verdant lavish hues I’ve waited for you oceans, to take me far away Cocoon me in your journeys, awake me with your spray I’ve waited for adventures, savannahs, mounts of snow Safaris, canyons, ice bergs, a rushing river’s flow I’ve longed to feel the soaring, of the tallest redwood pines To feel the thrill of swinging from timely vine to vine I’ve waited for you kindly, I’ve dreamt of only you Not seeing my surrounding – the modest, simple truth I’m not on rushing waters; I see a humbler view A quiet stream aholds me, in a just as meek canoe No epic haunting soundtrack, no growing climaxed plot No melodramas, heartbreaks, no loud exciting lot There’s simply me, my presence, my mind, my heart, my soul And then sometimes a chirping, of a blue jays heartened drawl The trees that stand around me as I slowly drift on by Are not as green as jungles, are not as tall as pines But in their leaves are details that I didn’t seem to see In all my restless dreamings, in all my passioned glee The sun is brightly shining, veiling the path ahead But his rays are warm and cozy, so I lie down instead And there the azure greets me, with a smile that stretches on And I feel safe and stable, in a humble wooden palm True, these aren’t my mountains, my canyons, waterfalls But I can’t betray this beauty, its vivid silent calls And though my heart is grieving, for the lost could-be I breathe this moment in, and shed the last should-be Viktoria Nikola 2013
The Human Gift
Here is my heart, though, how silly it is To give you a gift, as faulty as this I’d give you my mind, but I fear it’s away In some faraway land on indefinite stay I’d give you my soul, if only I could But lost in my body is the thoughtless ol’ fool I’d give you my spirit, but embarrassed I am Of how small and how dim the light has become And thus I am left with a beaten bruised heart The one where the seems are coming apart Don’t worry the wounds will fester, but heal And then it's the scars, the seems that will seal The bleeding will stop, the ache should assuage It’s drumming might fade, It’s hearing might age A Band-Aid or two and some gauze would do well To send it towards heaven, or at least not towards hell Please hold the poor darling, tell it you care It might not believe you, but let us be fair It’s fallen, it’s shattered, it burned and then froze And now by it’s master so rudely disposed I’d rather you have it though, horrid it is For I do not trust me with such delicate things I’ve tried and I’ve failed, and it’s time to give in Farewell, my sweetheart, forgive me this sin Viktoria Nikola
